Life as a football coach's wife is not easy. Here's several ways how I survive the season.
I can't believe it but the regular high school football season is half way over! It's crazy how quickly it has flown by. Our team is 5-0, an accomplishment they have not had in many, many years. To top it off, we (Mandarin) are ranked 5th in the state polls this week! Friends, this is a big, flippin deal. We just found out that our school has NEVER been ranked this high.
When friends bring up the success Coach has had this year, I always tell them that I knew this day would come from the MOMENT he accepted the job. It was just a matter of time.
While our record is super exciting, Coach has taught me that there is always more work to do.
There is no time for sitting in the past. You must prepare for the next challenge. I really respect that about him.
This week is our off week, meaning we don't play a game. Every football team gets one off week in the regular season and it's usually a welcomed break to rest and prepare for the upcoming games.
Off week is typically the week where our family comes up for air. The super fast pace of long practice days and big Friday nights slow down for 7 short days. I used to have big hopes and dreams for our off week, but I now realize that is just means shorter practices and Coach is home all weekend. However, the actual Friday night of "off week" is always spent scouting another team. =)
While I love football season, it definitely wears on us wives. There are moments where my enthusiasm wanes, I'm tired of doing most of the work at home, and I'd like it to be over. These are not my best moments, but they do happen and pretty much any coach's wife {I think} would confess the same.
I've been reflecting on some of the things that help me survive football season. {Yes, sometimes it is survival mode.} Some of these things have been literally life-savers for me during this challenging time of the year. Even if you are not a coach's wife, I am pretty certain these are things that can help support you through some challenges too.
Community
Football season is lonely for me. This is especially true because I am an extrovert and am energized by quality time with others. There are certainly plenty of people around me at my job, the gym, or neighborhood, but I still often feel isolated in our life. Not many people understand our schedule and it can be tough to spend time with close friends, especially because we all have little kids. I really felt this about 3 weeks ago on a Friday night away game. We were playing at a school in a part of town that I probably shouldn't drive to alone. I seriously texted 10 different people to see if anyone could go and everyone already had plans. Normal Friday night plans. I did a lot of praying that night and everything ended up fine. We won too so that helped. ๐
How I deal with this challenge is to have some people I can call regularly to have conversations about all aspects of life. I have found it the most helpful to have 1-2 friends who are not at the same stage of my life (i.e. not chasing around little kids) and are available to talk at say, 8 am in the morning while I drive Jackson to school. These woman, my mom and another close friend, understand my life pretty well and encourage me on good days and bad. I am usually talking to one of them almost every morning while driving around and I am very thankful for them.
Another way I attempt to have community with my girlfriends is regular, light-hearted texts. I know that this is nothing novel, but sometimes I get so busy, tired, or overwhelmed, that I forget to just text a friend with something funny. One of my friends and I have started texted pretty regularly about random stuff like shopping, new furniture, sick kids, or new recipes. Since we it's hard to physically spend time together right now, this will have to do. I also have 1 or 2 other working RDN mommy's that I text when I just need encouragement to push on.
Lastly, I have joined this amazing Football Wives Facebook group. {If you are a football wife reading this you NEED to join this group.} It is nearly 1800 woman from around the country and at all levels of football. For the most part we are just sharing our life with people who get it. Sometimes someone will post a desperate call for encouragement and many will respond. Every time I check this group I feel supported and encouraged more than any other Facebook group I've been a part of before. Thank you to whoever set this group up!
Regardless of the type of challenges you are facing {and we all have them}, I encourage you to find community. The worst and most crippling emotion, I think, is the feeling that you are alone in your circumstances. Sometimes it's uncomfortable to first seek out community, but you just got to do it.
My Mantras
I have always been motivated by short phrases that I keep in my heart and mind. They are short messages that keep me focused and encouraged. This year I feel like God has given me a couple of new mantras for football season.
My first mantra is: God could've called anyone to be Coach's wife, but He called me. This is what I am suppose to do.
This mantra reminds me that I am exactly where God wants me to do, doing what He has called me to do.
My second mantra is: An easy life is not a guaranteed good life.
This mantra reminds me that I want my life to count and to make a difference. Challenges force me to live beyond myself and for others. At the end of my life, this is the stuff that matters.
Do you have a mantra in your mind that helps you through tough times? I'd love to hear it. Share it in a comment below.
Live for Friday Night
Our games are seriously the best part of the week for me. Friday night feels like a celebration of all the work that our team puts in, and I put in at home. We sacrifice a lot of our lives for football and the games feel the big party that keeps me going. I often tell people that some spouses have big meetings, presentations, projects or trips that they work hard to prepare for; my hubs has games. It is most certainly stressful at times {i.e. just last Friday}, but I love seeing Coach in his ultimate element, doing what God has called him to do.
In light of this, I try to dress up for games, particularly home games. This can be tricky when it's super hot or I have the rowdy boys with me, but I do my best. Getting my outfits together puts me in the game-day mindset. I don't see it as Coach does his thing Friday night. No no. It's WE do OUR thing on Friday nights. I'll be writing a whole post on my gameday style coming up soon so stay tuned.
I also have to sometimes rally the troops, and by rally, I mean whip them into shape. My 4 year old is still in a tantrum throwing phase, unfortunately, and also has a hard time seeing beyond what he wants to do. There have been many game days where he is throwing a fit because he wants to stay home (to watch a movie or simply because "it's hot outside") and I just wanted to throw in the towel in trying to make it work. But I pray and try to calm myself down, remembering how important it is for our family to be together at football games, and give Jackson his pep talk about why he needs to get it together. Eventually he comes around and always has a great time at the games.
This is an attitude I pray to have and try to choose to have. Sometimes our circumstances just require a change of attitude to turn things around. I believe this starts with prayer and daily choices. Is there any area of your life where maybe a change of attitude could do some good? Start praying and make choices to support that frame of mind.
Outsourcing
At this time of my life, if I could outsource ever household duty, I just might do it. I confess that I am no domestic goddess when it comes to keeping a clean and neat house. I can do the food things just fine, but that is where my enjoyment ends.
Since the budget is definitely not big enough to support all those things, I have to be choosy about what's going to make the biggest difference for me. Here's some ways I have outsourced some things to help make life a little easier.
Meal Delivery Service: Do I love to plan and cook meals? Yes. Do I enjoy doing it every week especially when I feel like a single parent? No. This year I've started trying meal delivery services on an as needed basis. Blue Apron and Hello Fresh have both been great! If you want to try out Hello Fresh, I'd love it if you use this link and enter code: ULVEWX . You'll get $40 off your first box and I get a savings as well. We all win!
Housework: If I had my way I would NEVER clean my house again. There are just so many other things I would rather do. Still, I have times where I get down on myself about the fact that I just can't keep our house clean and I feel like I should be able to do it. That's a fleeting thought though and I have found that having someone else clean my house every once in a while is an AMAZING thing. I have a company that I can use in town, but I've also started being on the lookout on Groupon for housecleaning deals. Recently I was able to buy 3 hours of cleaning from a company for $49 dollars! Totally worth it.
I also feel like I need to confess that I bought THIS. It feels so lazy but I really like it. I can just turn it on while we are out and come back with decently clean floors. I am quite happy with this purchase.
Clothing: I love to shop {probably too much} but I have very little time or energy to do so. I finally jumped on the Stitch Fix boat and got my first fix last month. This service provides you a personal stylist and you are sent a box of 5 items based on your style and budget preferences. They also send you these amazing style cards that show you two ways to wear each piece. It is most certainly fun to see what someone else picks out for you and I appreciated the fresh looks I received for fall. {See this Facebook post on what was in my fix.} If you have an event coming up where you need something special, or just need a few new closet staples, TRY THIS OUT! You can schedule as few or as many shipments as you want or need.
Since I consider workout clothes my official "mom uniform" I like to buy stylish athletic wear. I've tried out Fabletics for sporty clothing and enjoy this as well. I've only ordered twice from them in the past year but do really like the items I received.
Amazon Prime: If you haven't already discovered the joys of Amazon prime you are missing out. I often look there for any item before going to the store. With 2 day shipping that even comes on Sundays, it is a mental and time lifesaver. My favorite stuff to get on Amazon is drug store kind of things, birthday presents, pantry staples, books, random clothing items for the kids, and more.
Babysitting: Since we have pretty involved family, we rarely have to pay for a babysitter. I am very thankful for this. But there are times where me and Coach NEED a night out and free babysitters are not available. So I've come to grips with the fact that I have to spend money sometimes to have meaningful time with my hubby. I can't tell you how annoyed that makes me, but it's the truth at this time of my life. It is always worth it in the end.
What are some things you outsource to make life more manageable? Share any of your good ideas in the comments.
Healthy Snacks at Games
When you find yourself at the game field a lot, it's easy to give in to concession stand food. While it may be the easiest option, it is certainly not the healthiest. I always try to have healthy snacks with me at games to help avoid munching on food that's just OK (and not great). My favorite snack of the year has been Wonderful Pistachios. They are so good and keep my hands busy when I'm super nervous. I especially love the salt and pepper flavor.
Sharing all these ways I survive the season has been rather therapeutic. I'm feeling encouraged and ready to take on the rest of the season. Thanks for listening! If you know a coach's wife, of any sport, or anyone going through a tough time, please share this post with them.
Please take a gander through my other Married to Football Posts too:
If you are interested in following our games on Friday nights, make sure you follow me on Twitter and Instagram. I post score updates on Twitter and lots of pics on Insta.
To football, challenges, and community,
